kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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