yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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