Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I lost the right to judge tonight
Randomize
