Heybabeimwearingurpanties
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
