I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
