I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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