It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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