11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
