I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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