Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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