Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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