it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
