just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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