yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
