She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
