strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
