Pappa wants mamma naked
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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