He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
