Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
