Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
