I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
