You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
