you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Randomize
