Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
