he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
