Im at strip club and am horny
oh god the rape fog is back!
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
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