there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
