please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Randomize
