You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
