2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
