from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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