This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
