Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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