what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
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