dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
