i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I got her a Nickelback box set.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize
