I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
