im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
