there was a trapeze. enough said
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
