spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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