i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
