Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
