new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
