the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
There was a lot of him and a little penis
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize
