Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
