When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
