i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I made him laugh his dick is mine
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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