butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
