You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
