No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
operation have a gay friend backfired
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
be right there i have to get my cape
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
