Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Randomize
