Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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