I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
