HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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