I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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