I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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