He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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