is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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