On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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