i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Randomize
