you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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