She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Randomize
